Blog
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| CEO Chad Mouthvich Released on Bail 7/31/19 |
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GuzCoin values soar as CEO Chad Mouthvich is released on bail after being detained for several weeks on human traffic and false imprisonment charges. "It was a real learning experience," Mouthvich explained. "Being in prison gave me time to think about what I've done, and I have lots of great new business ideas!" He added that he did not intend to release Henri and Jaques until they complete their contract.
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| CEO Chad Mouthvich comes under fire after it's revealed he signed two French Orphans into indentured servitude 6/8/18 |
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There has been general public outcry after it was alleged that Guzcoin CEO Chad Mouthvich hired two French orphans as indentured servants. “I give them food and some straw bedding, and in exchange they wax my Tesla and prepare meals from a weekly meal-kit service,” innocent victim Mouthvich explained. “They’ll earn their freedom after 10 years hard labor in exchange for their safe passage across the Atlantic,” he helpfully elaborated. As of publication Mouthvich is still unsure what he is apologizing for. Guzcoin value remains unaffected.
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| INFERIOR NON-DIGITAL GUANO BASED CRYPTOCURRENCY FLOODS MARKET, GUZCOIN PARTNERS UNPHASED 5/4/18 |
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Guzcoin CEO Chad Mouthvich outraged at market incursion by inferior a href="http://www.shitcoin.biz/">. When reached for comment partner Chippy Davenport (B.E.) equivocated saying "I don't know maybe we should give them a chance, I can't knock any bird-based crypto!!" Chat Mouthvich was overheard saying that Shitcoin CEO Buttly Ass Crackington should do unspeakable things to his own bottom. "I think our history in the marketplace will speak for itself, investors recognize our trackrecord of excellence," says Chippy as The Guz had explosive diarrhea and Chad threw an chair across the open floor-plan office. The intern gave no comment, but continued to play foosball.
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| INFERIOR NON-DIGITAL GUANO BASED CRYPTOCURRENCY FLOODS MARKET, GUZCOIN PARTNERS UNPHASED 4/14/18 |
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Guzcoin CEO Chad Mouthvich outraged at market incursion by inferior a href="http://www.shitcoin.biz/">. When reached for comment partner Chippy Davenport (B.E.) equivocated saying "I don't know maybe we should give them a chance, I can't knock any bird-based crypto!!" Chat Mouthvich was overheard saying that Shitcoin CEO Buttly Ass Crackington should do unspeakable things to his own bottom. "I think our history in the marketplace will speak for itself, investors recognize our trackrecord of excellence," says Chippy as The Guz had explosive diarrhea and Chad threw an chair across the open floor-plan office. The intern gave no comment, but continued to play foosball.
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| Guzcoin offices upgrade to LaCroix 3/22/18 |
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Guzcoin CEO Chad Mouthvich has ordered all Polar brand seltzer water in the vending machine be replaced with LaCroix by the end of the week. It is noted that Chad is particularly fond of the Cerise Limón flavor.
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| Guzcoin Grows in Value, is Worthwhile Investment 3/12/18 |
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According to numerous reliable sources, Guzcoin has value, and is not a ponzi scheme.
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| CHIPPY DAVENPORT, BIRD ENTHUSIAST, HURT BY ALLEGATIONS OF NEGLIGENCE 2/7/18 |
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“I was just trying to keep the apartment tidy!” reported Davenport on Tuesday, following revelations that he’d consigned several weeks worth of Guzcoin to the trash. “It won’t happen again! I swear on my The Guz!”
At press time, Davenport was tidying seed off of the floor around The Guz’s cage and muttering to himself.
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| Guzcoin launch delayed because Chippy threw out the Guzcoins 2/6/18 |
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To maintain full transparency for our investors, I'm saddened to announce that the official Guzcoin launch will be slightly delayed because Chippy Davenport, idiot, accidentally threw away all of the Guzcoins minted for circulation. The team behind Guzcoin apologizes, and is taking steps to make sure this doesn't happen again. This will delay but not stop you from making your Guzcoin millions!
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| Guzcoin team STILL planning a BLEEDING EDGE launch party!!! 2/2/18 |
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Proving that they are CONSTANTLY thinking outside the box, the Guzcoin team is STILL planning a ribbion cutting/launch party to leverage their social media following into ROBUST VERTICAL GROWTH!!!! "We are giving this launch our 110%!!!" Says co-founder Chippy Davenport, bird enthusiast.
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| CHIPPY DAVENPORT, BIRD ENTHUSIAST, BRINGS CRYPTOCURRENCY TO MONTANA BIRDING COMMUNITY 2/2/18 |
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In an unprecedented move, Guzcoin co-founder Chippy Davenport, Bird Enthusiast, has taken steps to bring the cryptocurrency revolution to Montana's birding community. "What's more disruptive than introducing Guzcoin to a previously untapped group of potential investors?" reported Davenport, adjusting a spotting scope in the direction of a Greater White Fronted Goose. "Besides, I'm just happy to talk to folks back home about my The Guz! Haw haw!"
"Gosh, all that talking sure is disruptive Chip!" added Bozeman area bird watcher Glenn Berman, prodding an elbow into Davenport's ribs. "You know I'm just joshin'!" At press time, Davenport and a small group of birders were raptly observing a raft of Red-Breasted Mergansers.
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| CEO Mouthvich Returns from Week Long Networking Trip in Acapulco 1/31/18 |
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“It was great to just sit back, disconnect and tell anybody who would listen about the exciting prospects of Guzcoin,” said CEO Chad Mouthvich in an official statement. “It turns out chicks dig startups.” Chad also got a chance to sample local delicacies, “Hammer Dan and Jager Josh made me try a taco, it was good. I wonder if I can find one back in the bay area.”
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| Guzcoin Offices Upgrade to WI-FI 1/22/18 |
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"This is really going to boost our productivity," says CEO Chad Mouthvich in a public statement. "Wireless is the way of the future."
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| Guzcoin Launches Blog; Disrupts, Innovates 1/21/18 |
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To better enable Business-2-Consumer (B2C) communication, yesterday, in an unprecedented and innovative move, the minds behind Guzcoin chose to launch a new next generation weblog. This blog is going to change the way people learn about guano-based nondigital cryptocurrency.
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